Mmmm, the “narcissist” is yet another person hurting and consumed with ego defence mechanisms, unconsciously striving to survive childhood/life traumas by any means possible.
Calling someone a narcissist, (even if it can be a traumatic experience to be on the receiving end of abuse), settles the “abused” into a victim role/identity and further suffering is then propelled into new stories that may no longer be induced by the “narcissist” and quite often continue for years to come…..label and judgement are not the most productive direction towards change or healing .
I feel we have to watch our developing personal narratives and how they ultimately contribute to our own perpetual mental suffering patterns and how we push that into the collective story of suffering.
I don’t like reading the “toxic” word more and more on social media everyday as it seriously carries powerful traits of victim and perpetrator narratives that automatically Induce a state of non ownership of one’s own part in the interaction, of one’s own need to heal from unresolved traumas.
If a connection begins to trigger more than can be faced at one time, either options would be to leave or stick around to face these triggers, armed with fearsome presence .
A friend once told me that connections were either parasitic or symbiotic but what if in truth we are just simply challenged to meet ourselves through either “polarity”, and meet our judgements and perceptions face on?
A person may be so called “toxic” to one and yet quite perfect for another, although it is common for “toxic” relationships to happen so addictions to familiar pain patterns can be lived out through conflict and drama….
We seriously need to start owning our reactions and inner dialogues with our many masks and fears….
I lovingly release any blame I have ever placed onto other for my reactions or addictions to my pain and apologise for projecting my own darkness onto them and send deep love to all those I have ever labelled/hurt whilst deflecting from my own responsibilities to heal my own pain.